What’s your ONE thing?

Ophelia reminisces on her mental journey over lockdown and how she has benefitted from learning to do less.

10/03/21

Who loves a buffet?

Walking into a restaurant and you can see the hot table full of different dishes - sometimes different cuisines and cultures all under one roof - in fact, you could have it all on one plate if you so wish!

Don’t even get me started on the desert table (AND CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!).

“Mangia, Mangia” as my dear Italian relatives would say.

In my opinion, there are 3 types of buffet goers.

The person who goes in, knows what they like and has the same thing every time.

The person who knows and has what they like but aims to also try something new every time they go.

Or, if you are anything like me, I see that big array of gorgeousness and silently compete with my sensible self, say “GAME ON”, and try to eat the lot…

Today I sit and reflect as we approach the 1-year anniversary of what changed our worlds as we knew it.

As I look back at my previous blog posts, I just want to give myself a big hug and tell myself to stop putting pressure on myself and trying to be good at EVERYthing.

I had so much ambition to try something new and I remember seeing on my weekly schedule for a good 6 months – ‘write new blog’. This was religiously transferred to the next week and then the next and then the to-do list got way too long, way too stressful and then the inner pressure was building up and then… I just exploded.

Yes, I was trying to eat too much (in this sense, this food didn’t taste so great).

I like how my last post “All the gear and no idea?” discussed the idea of having just three things to focus on a day to avoid that pressure, and now I am broaching the subject of having just one.

As aforementioned, I saw the opportunity of lockdown to really dive into many oceans and try lots of things I had ‘wanted’ to try for ages. This was fun for a while and then I really sat with the reality of what is going on here.

The underlining message of lockdown for me has been to chill the f*ck out. As humans, we have been doing far too much for far too long, running that rat race and missing important things along the way. A race which leads the rat nowhere but is full of struggles and exhaustion.

Why do we do this to ourselves? What are we racing for? No one can be good at 100 things at once, right?

So, as you can see, I have gone from focusing on 100 things a day… to three… to just one.

Over lockdown, after I came to terms with the fact that I can’t force creativity and bash out blogs every week (I now understand writer’s block!), I realised the importance of that long discussed phrase ‘just be present’.

When the lockdown weekly plan becomes more stressful than watching a fish trying to survive out of water, I really had to stop ‘trying’ so hard.

Now this is what I propose, bear with me.

This year, my energy got brought back to a book I read when my life was seeming to be a constant race. ‘The One Thing’, by Gary Keller, argues that the key to extraordinary success is focusing daily on the “One Thing” that is most important for achieving your goal, rather than scattering yourself in many directions.

So I sat and I thought, what is the one goal that I want to achieve… god there are SO many. But when the main loves of my life have been put on pause and I had no control to change that (travel, performing, visiting family and friends), I thought about the one thing that’s really going to help ME. Not for my career, not for my family, not for pleasure – even though ALL of this will benefit in the long run.

Now I’m not going to bore you with what my current one thing is, but I want you to try it out for yourself. I know over time my one thing will change, like many things; you have a goal, you work towards it and then you move on to the next to carry on bettering yourself.

A lot of things can help you channel what really is the one thing you need to do, right now. It could be a practical thing, such as writing a long list of what you want to achieve in life or in the next year. Or you can take the logic out of it and try to really connect to your gut feeling, meditate on it for a few moments, really sit with the idea. But then don’t sit with it for too long – try not to over analyse and just listen to what is right for you.

I’m sure Keller won’t mind me quoting his book here, but I think these 6 steps are a gold mine with a pretty awesome way to finding your one thing.

1.) What is your someday goal?

2.) From that, what is your five year goal?

3.) From that, what is your one year goal?

4.) From that, what is your monthly goal?

5.) From that, what is your weekly goal?

6.) From that, what is your daily goal?

Imagine you are 3 years old and you've just learnt your new favourite word - "why?"!

Why do I want this goal, how am I going to achieve it and what is it that I need to do today to get one step closer to that goal. Having a meaningful "why" behind your goals and making sure they resonate at a really deep level makes staying disciplined significantly easier.

Now we all have a bit more time, before we get bombarded with stimuli that we haven’t had available to us for the best part of a year and lose ourselves again, let’s take time to change our habits and work on that one thing everyday that will help us reach our goal. Then when that’s done, giving ourselves a damn break to enjoy life and ‘just be present’!

Eventually all these 'one things' add up to form healthy habits that don't feel like tasks.

When you know and factor in that most important thing every day, everything else falls into place. Extraordinary focus on one thing brings extraordinary success and can help us achieve way more without even realising.

Less is more… and all that jazz.

So next time I go to a buffet, I’ll aim to walk out not feeling like I’m about to burst and just enjoy that one plate (and the chocolate fountain, of course)!

Who knows when my one thing allows me the energy, creativity and determination to write another blog, but until then,

lots of love,

Your Positive Potato x